I have a friend who is blind. His name is Daniel and he's an amazing guy. He is more than just a blind man. He has a heart to serve and seeks every opportunity to help. People often ask how he became blind and I don't remember exactly what it was that caused him to need a surgery when he was an infant, but the scar on the side of his head implies it was a major surgery. The result was he was healed of what caused the need of surgery, but he is now blind. I knew of Daniel a few years ago from church, but our friendship has really blossomed in the past few months. We attend the same service and when he was asked about coming to Bible study he informed us it's difficult for him to come to church because he needs rides and someone to guide him. Myself and others in the young adult Bible study worked out a way for Daniel to be a part of our group no matter when or where we meet. This has been a blessing for not only Daniel, but our entire group.
Part of having Daniel in our group allows us to ask questions about being blind and learning of the tools he uses to help him live life. For example, a few weeks ago we were in a restaurant and the topic of signing for a credit card came up. For us sighted people we take for granted we can see the little line on the paper and give our signature. We asked Daniel what he does in this instance (he usually pays with cash and uses a special system for his money by folding the bills different ways and has learned the different feel of coins to distinguish between them - imagine counting out your money with YOUR eyes closed!). He said he has learned how to write his initials when asked for his signature, but has a credit card sized card with a rectangle cut out to use as a guide.
When Daniel needs to sign his signature he asks the clerk to place the card where he needs to sign and uses the rectangular cut out as a guide. Curious we asked if he would show us. We pulled out a piece of paper and a pen and placed the card on the paper. He then blew us a way when he moved the card after signing his name and gave his same signature without the card and it was written just as neatly as it was with the card - if not neater! We asked if we could try to sign our names with our eyes closed using his special card. A few of us did a decent job with only being a little crooked in writing our signatures with our eyes closed and only used the rectangular shape as a guide. We all laughed at the person who wasn't able to judge the spacing and could only sign half of his name. It has been fun and interesting to learn of the tools Daniel has to help him with everyday activities we take for granted. Most of the time we just watch and listen in awe of all the tools and the special systems he has. Tonight I had the opportunity to be "blind" and fully depend on someone else for five minutes.
When Daniel needs to sign his signature he asks the clerk to place the card where he needs to sign and uses the rectangular cut out as a guide. Curious we asked if he would show us. We pulled out a piece of paper and a pen and placed the card on the paper. He then blew us a way when he moved the card after signing his name and gave his same signature without the card and it was written just as neatly as it was with the card - if not neater! We asked if we could try to sign our names with our eyes closed using his special card. A few of us did a decent job with only being a little crooked in writing our signatures with our eyes closed and only used the rectangular shape as a guide. We all laughed at the person who wasn't able to judge the spacing and could only sign half of his name. It has been fun and interesting to learn of the tools Daniel has to help him with everyday activities we take for granted. Most of the time we just watch and listen in awe of all the tools and the special systems he has. Tonight I had the opportunity to be "blind" and fully depend on someone else for five minutes.
After our Bible study at a restaurant we were walking to the parking lot when the conversation came up again, for the hundredth time, of the time I led Daniel off a curb because I forgot I was leading him (I'm sure I will never live this down!). As we were all laughing, for the hundredth time, Daniel starts reaching for his cane and says, "Why don't I lead you? Then you will know what it is like." Instantly I find myself closing my eyes super tight so I wouldn't be tempted to peek and saying, "OKAY! Let's do this!"
Side note: I didn't get permission to use other names beside's Daniels in this blog entry, so I will use initials for the others who were in the group.
At this point I hear C, A, and K laughing and then saying things like, "Oh, we are really going to do this through the parking lot?!?" and "Here's your chance to get her back for leading you off the curb!" Before I could even really process what was going to happen I hear Daniel tell me to hold his hand. The only problem was my eyes were closed and I could tell he was near, but I couldn't tell exactly where he was. So, on one arm I have my purse in the crook of my arm and am holding three Bibles to return to the church. The other hand is franticly searching for Daniel who at this point has clicked his cane into place. Although we hadn't moved I could have sworn the world was spinning around me. I couldn't tell which direction I was facing and a tinge of panic overcame me. After finding Daniel's arm and holding onto his elbow (like he does when we lead him) he starts moving.
Here it goes. There's no turning back now!
My eyes are tightly closed and I'm holding onto Daniel with one hand and Bibles with the other. What more can I do, but walk? So, off we went. One step, then two. I'm getting the hang of this. Another step followed by another. I hear C, A, and K talking and giggling at the sight of the blind leading the "blind." I hear the clicking of the cane tapping the ground as I'm being pulled into a direction I could have sworn was the wrong way! I wanted to open my eyes to make sure, but thought, "No! Don't do it! Daniel doesn't have the choice to open his eyes and see what is going on. You better not open your eyes!" I then hear A or K yell out, "YOU'RE HEADED FOR A PARKED CAR!" and I'm jerked into another direction as the clicking of the cane finds the car. I knew we had made it past the main crossing of the parking lot and now we're near the cars. At this point I'm a little concerned as my mind starts thinking about being led into the busy street by a wrong turn to avoid a car or a car speeding through this quiet parking lot. I'm now realizing what I've just gotten myself into! I'm fully trusting someone who can't see to lead me through the parking lot! My mind starts racing at what could go wrong! I then realized I hear Daniel talking to me. I realized I can't focus on my thoughts because I need to be paying attention to the little direction I'm being given by Daniel.
Daniel is telling me there are cracks in the ground coming up. There is "something" to the left of me. Another "thing" to the right of me. I can tell C is in front of us to ensure we are headed in the right direction, but not really telling us what is coming up. I can tell A and K are following behind us. I wanted to focus on what they were saying. I was grasping for anything that might give me a hint as to where I was going and what was coming up. Again, I quickly realized I can't focus my attention on anything except for Daniel because I need to be paying attention to the little direction I am being given from the one who is leading me.
I hear Daniel say we are now between two cars. I yell out for him to slow down! I feel like he's going too fast! He's gaining more confidence because he can tell what is ahead. He is using his cane to determine where things are and listening to C tell him the direction to walk in. All I can do is walk faster to keep up. I'm trying to listen to C so I can know what to expect, but I'm also trying to listen to A and K who are commenting on the whole experience, but not giving any specific directions.
C calls out, "There's a slight raise in the road." I thought, "Why would you tell me this? I won't be able to tell a slight raise in the road. That's not good advice and direction! Tell me if there is a curb or something that can cause me to fall!" About three steps later I feel the slight raise in the road. I wouldn't have normally noticed this slight rise, but tonight I did. Even though I originally thought it was silly advice I could tell this was helpful. If nothing else what he's saying is true and we can continue to follow his lead (not that he would lead us astray, but that little advice had a larger meaning).
About this time I realized my stomach was clinched and knotted. I realized I had been holding my breath. I realized how scared I really was in walking through a parking lot with my eyes closed being led by someone who can't open his eyes at a moment's notice if he get's confused at where he is going. I knew I'd be okay, but I didn't have control of the situation. I had to fully trust in Daniel to not lead me into danger. I had to trust C, A and K to direct Daniel away from danger. I didn't know if we would go straight to the car or take a detour around the shopping center. I had no control over this situation. As one who likes to know what is going on and take control this situation was VERY difficult!
Just as I'm reminding myself I need to breathe normally I hear C call out. The car is right here and a tapping on the car. I feel a final jerk to the side while taking a few steps and C, A and K yell out, "YOU DID IT! Look how far you went! You made it to the car!" I couldn't open my eyes any faster. I let out a sigh of relief and then realized I'm the only one who could open my eyes to see how far we went. A little guilt came over me when I realized how relieved I was we were at the car and I could open my eyes where Daniel doesn't have that luxury. I immediately tell Daniel I have a new appreciation for him.
While I'm telling him how scared I was because I wasn't sure what was going to happen I instantly thought about all the times God has asked me to trust him and follow where he leads. I realized how so many times I'm so eager to follow God's plan, but as I get going and realize I'm not in control how fear comes over me and I stop walking so quickly. I ask to slow down. I allow fear to turn my stomach into knots all the while trying to figure out where I am and what I'm doing from others who are not the one I'm holding on to.
The more I thought about this scenario I began to think about how Daniel is like Jesus (although Jesus can physically see where I'm going) and C was like God keeping us in the right direction. Without Jesus we can't come to the Father. I need Jesus to bring me to the Father. Although Daniel didn't sacrifice himself in this scenario, Jesus did 2,000 years ago. Jesus gave his life on the cross so I can be with God. Jesus says in John 14:6 "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." All those times where God leads us into things where we think it is silly and not as meaningful as something else or even those difficult times in life where it is painful and confusing - these are the times we trust and learn we can depend on God. God knows the direction we need to be going and he'll lead us one step at a time. We can trust Him. We can trust with blind faith God will not let us fall.
