Good-bye College Life, Hello the Rest of My Life

It's been a few weeks since I've last posted to my blog. I was a bit busy finishing up my last semester of college. This semester was quite the crazy semester, but looking back on previous semesters they all have been quite crazy. I should just consider this level of "crazy" as the new "normal" since I haven't had a "normal" period in quite a long time! This past semester my school work was put on hold due to the fact I only had one hand to type assignments. If you haven't read the posts about those you should consider going back and reading them. Although before reading the previous posts I would caution you to the fact I'm a whiner when I'm injured and there were a few I was quite drugged while writing - which someone should have monitored those posts. Anyhow, I'm better now and even crocheted for the first time since my arm was casted for 6 weeks. My wrist was the longest to heal after falling down the stairs and typing with two hands has been a slow recovery, but I've made it through and can type just as fast as ever.

Regardless of the many assignments turned in late I am proud of my grades this semester. I got an A in my Old Testament class, B in my history class, B- in my biology class (which I have NO idea how I pulled that off except to say, "good job me on the lab reports"), and a C+ in my English Literature class. I'm a little disappointed in my English Lit grade, but by the time I was able to even attempt to catch up it was the last month of school. There was a point where I wasn't sure if I'd pass that class, but I have and it is finished so I can't complain.

I've been asked a lot about what I'm going to do now that I'm finished with school. My original plan was to go to Japan to teach English, but since I wasn't accepted to the program that is put on hold for at least a year (or maybe longer, I'm not sure yet). I'm not sure what God has planned for me, so in the meantime I'll just keep listening and following where he leads. Actually, what happened a few weeks ago is quite awesome!

I was studying for my finals and I got a call from a man at my church. He asked me how volunteering in the office has been going and I told him great. He asked if I'd like a job working part-time as the church secretary. I told him since I'm not doing anything else that would be great. To make a long story short there was some talk about me taking this position before it was offered to me and everyone was giving me a high recommendation. I didn't know this until after I accepted the job and was telling people I will be the new secretary in January and person after person said, "Oh, I know. I gave you a good recommendation." I was a bit overwhelmed with the love people have poured out over me. I can't explain how loved I feel to know so many have so many nice things to say about me.

I love how I went from the excitement of following what I thought God wanted me to, to the disappointment of God having something else in mind (think along the lines of Abraham preparing to sacrifice Isaac on the mountain and God providing a ram, but I had no ram), to God providing a ram in the secretary position at my church! Sure I'm still disappointed about not going to Japan this next year, but I know God has a plan.

I know I'm disappointed in not going to Japan, but after I found out a good friend of mine has just been diagnosed with cancer for the second time I now understand why she was saying God needed me here this year. I couldn't see it before, but I know she's going to need support and I'm glad I'll be here to help her in any way - even if it's to shave my head for the second time (the first was when my mom had breast cancer).

So, as I close the book on college life and begin writing the book on the next stage in life I know one thing... I'm not going to leave God out of going ahead of me and showing me where to go and what to do.

Trans Cultual Kids

As a sociology major I'm interested in the way people relate to society. After reading a Facebook post from a friend who is a missionary in a small village half way around the world who is coming "home" later this year I was wondering how easy it will be for her four children to adapt to this culture they are familiar with, yet it is so foreign to them. I wanted to check out some statistics and although Wikipedia is not the most scholastic source, it does give a general idea. While reading through the Trans Cultural Kid's article I realized... dude, this describes me (minus the language part)! Who knew I was a trans cultural kid???

My response to each statistic is in parenthesis and bolded. Everything else is straight from Wikipedia. 

Statistics (U.S. TCKs)

Research has been done on American TCKs to identify various characteristics:[10][17][18]

[edit]Sociopsychology

• 90% feel "out of sync" with their peers.[19] (I'm not sure if this is the same out of sync as a MK would feel, but there are times I don't feel like I "fit in" with those of my same age)
• 90% report feeling as if they understand other people and cultural groups better than the average American.[20] (I do have a wider sense for other people and cultures, thus the reason I chose sociology as my major)
• 80% believe they can get along with anybody, and they often do, due to their sociocultural adaptability.[20] (I do get along with anybody.)
• Divorce rates among TCKs are lower than the general population, but TCKs marry at an older age (25+).[21][22] (Divorce rate... that's a good thing. Marriage at an older age.... well I am in the 25+ range now)
• More welcoming of others into their community.[18] (The more the merrier!)
• Lack a sense of "where home is", but are often nationalistic.[18][20] (Well, I do consider OC my home, but I'm totally cool with moving to another country and never returning to the US. I'm just waiting to see what God wants as far as where I'll be going)

[edit]Cognitive and emotional development

• Teenage TCKs are more mature than non-TCKs, but in their twenties take longer than their peers to focus their aims.[19] (What? You mean being in advance classes and told you're a mature teenager doesn't mean that you'll take 10.5 years to get your bachelors degree? I thought that's how it was suppose to be!?!)
• Depression is comparatively prevalent among TCKs.[19] (Could this be due to the fact it takes so long to "focus their aims?")
• TCKs' sense of identity and well-being is directly and negatively affected by repatriation.[23] (I don't have experience with this... but shoot I'm surprised since everything else seems to be describing me!)
• TCKs are highly linguistically adept (not as true for military TCKs).[21] (oh, well, maybe I'm not as much of a TCK as it seems)

• A study whose subjects were all "career military brats"—those who had a parent in the military from birth through high school—shows that brats are linguistically adept.[24] (but maybe my parents were secret military people for part of my childhood???)

• Like all children, TCKs may experience stress and even grief from the relocation experience.[25][26] (And this is where the comparison stops.)

[edit]Education and career

• TCKs are 4 times as likely as non-TCKs to earn a bachelor's degree (81% vs 21%)[27] (Check!!!)
• 40% earn an advanced degree (as compared to 5% of the non-TCK population.)[21] (Um, no thanks)
• 45% of TCKs attended three universities before attaining a degree.[21] (What, you mean it's NOT normal to attend three universities and one junior college?)
• 44% earned undergraduate degree after the age of 22.[21] (HA HA HA HA... and we thought the comparison had ended!)
• Education, medicine, business management, self-employment, and highly-skilled positions are the most common professions for TCKs.[21] (Well, I'm still not quite sure what I'll be doing, but apparently I should look into these careers)
• TCKs are unlikely to work for big business, government, or follow their parents' career choices. "One won't find many TCKs in large corporations. Nor are there many in government ... they have not followed in parental footsteps".[21] (Well, that's for sure! Even though many with my degree go to work for the government I'm hesitant and I'm not fully sure why... apparently it's because I was secretly a TCK)

Obviously in any study one can find themselves in what ever it is they are studying, but it just made me laugh at the "later in life" stuff. It reminds me of when I was taking my abnormal psychology class... I was convinced I had schizophrenia for half of the semester! Funny how after that class all my symptoms of schizophrenia went away... let alone the fact that I’ve past the age where schizophrenia first occurs in women so it would have shown up earlier in my life not just during this class! Anyhow, I found this funny and interesting and thought I’d share.

The Gideon Test

Judges 6:36-40

Then Gideon said to God, "You said you would help me save Israel. I will put some wool on the threshing floor. If there is dew only on the wool but all of the ground is dry, then I will know that you will use me to save Israel, as you said." And that is just what happened. When Gideon got up early the next morning and squeezed the wool, he got a full bowl of water from it.

Then Gideon said to God, "Don't be angry with me if I ask just one more thing. Please let me make one more test. Let only the wool be dry while the ground around it gets wet with dew." That night God did that very thing. Just the wool was dry, but the ground around it was wet with dew.

My sister told me about the Gideon test a friend of her's has for his future spouse. I think this is a great idea! Rather than wondering who the right girl is he has three things he's looking for as signs she's "the one" when he meets here and gets to know her. I think this is a great idea! Why not ask God for clear signs of a future spouse?

I have a list (ABC's of Love posted on my FB account) and that's great and all, but at the same time I hate that feeling of meeting a guy and for a split second having the thought wondering if he could be OTIS (Out There In Someplace). I feel like I'm wasting my time with that and then going through my ABC list and trying to see if he has these qualities, but with the Gideon test I would clearly know! I feel by going through the ABC list right away I try to fit any guy into that list and that's not what it's all about. I like the idea of the Gideon test because it allows me to not go straight to the ABC list and just get to know a friend first rather than seeing where he measures on the ABC list. With the Gideon test God will clearly give me a sign when I meet OTIS.

Like my sister's friend I won't tell anyone what the Gideon test things are (to prevent someone from trying to fulfill the Gideon test - not to mention a friend might be a part of the Gideon test), but I've prayed over one thing and have one so far. I don't know if I'll have more than one Gideon test, but for now I have one.

Just to give you an idea of what an example would be think of Abraham's servant at the well who asked for a sign of a women who would water the camels as well as get him water. The test is specific, but mine is not super odd like asking for water for my camels... because my camels are a special breed of camels who have a continuous supply of water in their humps and don't need to be watered. Then again, he could ask to put gas in my car... if only I could figure out how to make my car like my continuous water supply camels.

I heard back from MeySen...

I just got an e-mail today from MeySen.

I didn't get the job. My heart is so sad. I have no other words to describe how I feel in this moment.

I do know God has a plan and apparently MeySen is not in that plan right now. I know the question I'm going to be asked a lot is, "What are you going to do now?" As of right now my answer is, "Trust God."

I have no other option.

He Leadeth Me: Oh blessed thought!

I'll often have a song I haven't heard in a long while come to mind and the lyrics are so fitting for the time it comes to mind. I'm sure I'm not the only one who does this, but the latest song is an old hymn "He Leadeth Me." Usually it's a more contemporary song, but I figured I'd take a moment and read the lyrics and not just sing along with my iPod since there is such vintage language in this hymn. Here's the lyrics for those who aren't familiar with this hymn, or haven't heard it in a while:

He leadeth me: Oh blessed thought!

Oh words with heavenly comfort fraught!

Whate'er I do, Where'er I be,

still 'tis God's hand that leadeth me.

(Refrain)

He leadeth me, he leadeth me,

by his own hand he leadeth me;

his faithful follower I would be,

for by his hand he leadeth me.

Sometimes mid scenes of deepest gloom,

sometimes where Eden's bowers bloom,

by waters still, o'er troubled sea,

still 'tis his hand that leadeth me.

(refrain)

Lord, I would place my hand in thine,

nor ever murmur nor repine;

content, whatever lot I see,

since 'tis my God that leadeth me.

(refrain)

And when my task on earth is done,

when by thy grace the victory's won,

e'en death's cold wave I will not flee,

since God through Jordan leadeth me.

(refrain)

After reading through the lyrics I was reminded being a faithful follower you have to allow God to lead if you are in Eden's beautiful garden or still waters as well as in deepest gloom or a troubled sea.

Lately I've been in a period of waiting. Life seems to be up in the air as to what is going to happen, but the one thing I know for sure is my hand is in God's hand ready for him to lead. I haven't always realized God's plan is far better than anything I could ever plan, but though these past few years I've learned to trust God and give him my hand and I've seen that although I don't know what God's plan is going to be the next step he's given (one step at a time) has been far greater than I could have ever imagined.

I will be honest, waiting is not easy. I'm a planner, I like to know what could happen in multiple scenarios. Even though God has allowed to see some things where I'm being led (I'm suppose to go to Japan, but when and how is what I'm waiting to find out and OTIS is out there in someplace, but who he is and when I meet him is another question) waiting is still not easy. Even when I know what is coming just not how or when it is still hard to wait... actually it might even make waiting harder because it's a light at the end of the tunnel, but who knows how much of the tunnel I have left to go through. It's in times of the unknown waiting I remind myself of how faithful God has been in leading me and trust he will continue to lead. So while I wait I will not complain or worry, because his faithful follower I would be, for by his hand he leadeth me.

Bucking Horses

After going to a rodeo with friends last Saturday I came up with this analogy and wanted to share it with the hope anyone who reads it will understand we serve a God who wants the best for us. I am not a horse trainer, nor do I know technical terms or the exact way horses are trained, but after listening to a friend describe some of what happens I came up with this analogy.

Horses all start out with training for temperament and ability. Some horses are recognized very early on as having good temperament and easy to train. These horses are then trained to do whatever the handler wants them to do and they respond and learn what they are supposed to do. Then there are those horses who will respond with a little more work and motivation. These horses need a little more time and at times will need to be taken by the bridle and walked through where they need to go, but overall will learn to do what they’ve been asked. Then there are the stubborn horses who fight anything and everything. They have their own way and won’t listen to anyone - no matter how much force is used. These horses are then sent into the bucking horse circuit. 

These bucking horses are then used for what they are good at - bucking and being wild. Unfortunately though, it’s not like their bucking and being wild is all natural at this point. To ensure the horse will buck, a strap is placed uncomfortably close to the genitals and made to be extremely uncomfortable. The bucking horse is now being forced to do something they might not want to do at that moment, not to mention this way is a lot more uncomfortable than if the were to just obey when they were first being trained. 

Watching these bucking horses I noticed the real wild ones who had bucked off their rider would continue to think they could release their discomfort on their own and didn’t realize when another horse and cowboy came near the strap would be released. The bucking horse would try to escape the other horse and cowboy too stubborn to realize they were there to help and ease the discomfort. 

Not all of the bucking horses were like this though, some realized after they bucked off their rider and the other horse with the cowboy came near they’d stop bucking as wildly and seemed to allow the horse and cowboy to do their job knowing the discomfort would soon be relieved. I’d like to think these horses have learned their way might not have been the best, but now know what they need to do to ease the discomfort by allowing the horse and cowboy to come along side them. 

Here is my analogy of how God uses his children: Some children are called and respond quickly and learn early on what they need to do and do just that. Some children are called and need a little coaching, but eventually catch on and do what they need to do and do just that. Then there are those children who are called, but think they can do it on their own. They are wild and buck at anything who tries to control them. They think they are going to do their own thing, but in reality are controlled by the very thing they think they have control over only to realize this only causes more discomfort. Some children at this point realize the help when it comes along and sadly some don’t and continue to think they are still in control and can do it on their own. 

God is that cowboy who uses the trained horse who will obey and follow directions no matter what the circumstance looks like - even if it is riding alongside a bucking horse who can injure anyone who comes near. The difference between these two horses is God is on the trained horse who is looking out for the safety and will pull back when the bucking horse is in a position that will harm the trained horse, but will then reposition the trained horse to ride alongside the bucking horse and will reach over to release the strap causing discomfort... but the bucking horse needs to allow the cowboy to do so. 

So my question is what kind of horse have you been and what kind of horse do you want to be? I’ve been like the horse that needs a little extra training and at times needs to be lead by the bridle, but eventually catches on. My prayer is God will now use me to come along side the bucking horse so He can ease their discomfort. 

"For we know, brothers loved by God, that he has chosen you, because our gospel came to you not simply with words, but also with power with the Holy Spirit and with deep conviction. You know how we lived among you for your sake. You became imitators of us and of the Lord; in spite of severe suffering, you welcomed the message with the joy given by the Holy Spirit. And so you became a model to all the believers." 1 Thessalonians 1:4-7

9 weeks and 3 days later...

Well, I'm happy to report my injury of falling down the stairs is almost 100% healed. I just saw the doctor/surgeon for the last time. I still have some limited range of motion, but with some stretches and exercise it will be back to normal soon. Same thing for my toe. Although he didn't give specific stretches, but just mentioned walking in normal shoes should stretch it out.

While trying to tell him how much better I am I tried explaining how my wrist is better than when I crochet and it starts hurting and looses range of motion. He asked more about that and in a nut shell would like me to hurry and heal so I can crochet and injure myself again so he can check it out. Yes, you heard me right, hurry up and heal so I can injure myself again! He thinks it's tendonitis when I crochet, but would like to examine me to make sure. As far as the injury to my wrist he said it was a bad sprain and didn't have anything to do with previous injuries or conditions.

I'm just thinking back to 9 weeks and 3 days ago and how sad I was and how I wasn't looking forward to the fact I was going to have to learn how to walk without bending my toe and learn not to use my left hand/arm. I wasn't sure how I was going to make it, but I have and I'm proud of myself. I learned to ask for help when I needed it and learned how to do things on my own when no one could help me.

I am proud of my milestones which include carrying a bowl of cereal and glass of juice to the table with one hand and limping the whole way. I'm proud I figured out how to bathe myself with minimal assistance (but I will forever remember Glaphre and Gina helping me the first night... and peeing on Gina... I am sorry about that! But if it makes her feel better it wasn't a lot and probably didn't get on her... well, hopefully). I'm proud I figured out how to drive one handed (but am very grateful for my dad who took me to school for the first month of my last semester in college). I'm proud of creating meals I could cook with one hand (but I am thankful for my mom who would bring me breakfast, lunch, and dinner in bed when it was hard for me to walk and cook one handed). I remember the first night I didn't wear the big boot to bed and how happy I was when I could sleep under the blankets without bumping my toe and it hurting so bad I couldn't sleep! I also had my birthday party where I thought I was going to have to cancel because I wasn't going to be able to put it all together, but family and friends helped and it was such a great night. I'm impressed I've been able to stay in my classes and will still graduate in December (assuming I can get my work done... I'm slowly catching up on those assignments that slipped by in all the hustle and bustle of everything). Overall, this was not something I'd want to do again, but I got through it and I'd like to think I'm stronger than I am on this end than when I first came to the beginning of it all.

TWO thumbs up for TWO thumbs up!