A few months ago my friend Jakobe asked my friend Kelly and I if we wanted to go shooting. At the time I said no and didn't think much of it after that. After a few weeks I realized I don't want to be the person who doesn't do things because she's afraid. I want to try new things even if I'm scared. Even if I do it only once I should give it a try. I then thought if I'm given an opportunity I can take I should take it. I called my friend and let him know the next time he goes shooting to give me a call. It's time I conquer this fear.
Time goes on and I don't hear anything about it. I forget I told him I wanted to conquer this fear and I don't think much more of it. Last Sunday after church I see Jakobe, Kelly and a few other people talking, so I go over to say hello. Jakobe then asks what I'm doing that afternoon and I let him know after lunch with a friend I'm free. He then informs me they are going shooting and I should go with them. Immediately I try thinking of a way out, "Something came up, I have to work, my mom needs me at home, I need to wash my hair..." Then I quickly flash back to 2 seconds ago where I just said I was free. Darn it! I can't get out of going. They know I'm free. I have to go and I can't back down now.
After lunch I meet up with Jakobe, Kelly and a few of Jakobe's friends. We go over gun safety and how to handle the gun. Just before I was handed the gun I was thinking, "I want to leave. I have to leave. Shoot! We carpooled. How far is it to walk back to my car?" I'm then handed the gun and I'm so scared, but it's not so bad. I know it's not loaded. It's just a machine. I'm just holding a harmless machine. Then I'm thinking about how in the next half hour this thing will be loaded and I'm going to have to shoot it. My mind then thinks of how fast I could get out of there and how a mile isn't really that far to walk (or at this point run). I realize I'm overreacting, I will not leave, I will stay and I will shoot this gun!
We go to the shooting range where I've been before, but chickened out on shooting the gun. I know what to expect as far as the loudness, coldness of the range and the smell of guns being fired. We fill out our paperwork, put on our ear muff things and safety glasses (although apparently eye glasses are okay by themselves).
If you ask me Kelly and I are rocking our safety gear!
I personally enjoy I was wearing flowers in my hair to shoot guns!
Jakobe loads the gun and asks who wants to go first. I don't think this actually happened, but I'm imagining one of those scenes in a movie where there is a line of people and they are asked for a volunteer to step forward. The whole line takes a step back leaving the unsuspecting guy standing there as if he took a step forward. Yeah, I was the one to take a step back and quite possibly pushed Kelly forward. As she's shooting I'm still thinking of a way to get out of shooting the gun. Without coming up with anything good I'm called to the booth. I wanted to pee my skirt! Here is the real thing. This is a machine that can seriously hurt someone or even kill them! I know it's time to face my fear. I go forward in what seemed like slow motion. Jakobe loads the clip for me and hands me the gun, reminds me how to line it up to shoot my target and holds my hands to make sure I don't drop the gun.
Getting ready to take my first shot.
(Jakobe held my hands from the bottom when I took the shot... clearly if this was how he held my hand he would have been a bit bloody from the slider part sliding back)
I line the gun so the three little dots are aiming right at the target. My heart is racing. My mind is one big blur. I close my eyes and pull the trigger. I open my eyes, hand Jakobe the gun and say something to the effect of, "Okay, thanks. I'm done!" He encourages me to finish the clip, but I'm so scared. I then realized I had closed my eyes and that probably isn't a good thing to do. I then make it a goal to shoot with my eyes open. I figured I'm here and might as well keep going.
I line my shot up again, try to calm the blur going on in my head, close my eyes and pull the trigger. SHOOT! I closed my eyes again. I say to myself that I will keep my eyes open and shoot it again!
I line my shot up, yet again, try to calm the blur going on in my head, remind myself to keep my eyes open, close my eyes and pull the trigger. Darn it! I closed my eyes again. At this point I'm thinking maybe I don't need to keep my eyes open. I am hitting my target and this is a safe place for shooting and nothing or anyone will be walking in front of me.
But, I then realize that's not good. Even though this is a safe place I need to be able to shoot with my eyes open!
I line my shot up, try to calm the blur going on in my head, remind myself to keep my eyes open and pull the trigger. I did it! I shot the gun with my eyes open!
I finish the clip and put the gun down. I'm good. I did it. I not only shot a gun, but kept my eyes open! Jakobe, Kelly and the other guys keep shooting. I'm asked if I want to shoot again, but I'm good. I don't feel the need to and I've done what I've come to do.
As I was watching them shoot I then thought how well I could shoot the target. Would I be all over the place? Would I shoot the bulls eye? I'll never know if I don't give it another go. I tell Jakobe what I want to do and he sets a new target up. He then tells me this time I have to load the clip myself. I'm thinking, "Huh?!? I have to do what? I don't want to touch the bullets! That's the part that is the dangerous part!" He shows me how to do it and gives me the look of, "Do it. Do it now!" He then says, "I won't always be there to load your clip." I realize he's right and if I want to shoot the bulls eye I'm going to have to load this clip myself. Jakobe walks me through it again and tells me how to put the clip in the gun. I'm good to go. I line up my shot and go for it.
Would you believe it? I got a bulls eye! Not only once, but twice!
The other shots are all within the black part of the bulls eye
(which is hard to see in this picture).
Not bad if you ask me. For the second time shooting a gun I didn't do so bad!
I think this will go in the scrapbook next to my first hair cut (Which, by the way, would you imagine my hair was buzzed just 2 years ago when my mom had cancer? It's so good to realize not only did my hair grow back and is so long now, but my mom is here with her long hair too!).
The gun I was shooting was a .22, but Jakobe's friends had a .9 and asked if I wanted to shoot it. I wasn't too excited about it, but figured why not. Here's an opportunity - take it! That was more scary because of the kick back being stronger, but I shot it a few times and called it good. Jakobe also had a small little gun that belongs to his mom. It is so small I could put my hand over it and completely cover the gun. It was so pretty. It was gold and shiny with a pink handle with a rose painted on it. Now, if ever there was a gun for me to shoot this was one for me! What doesn't scream "Alice" than pink and shiny? Jakobe sets that one up for us to all try. When it was my turn I get the gun and am thinking how cute and little it is. I line up my shot and about pee my skirt on the kick back it had! I was not expecting THAT! How can something so cute and little be so scary? Then I realized, yeah, I'm cute and little and can be scary at times too.
By the end of the time I was ready to be casted on the next Charlie's Angels
I may still have a racing heart when I think of shooting a gun, but I now know if ever I'm in a situation where I'm handed a gun and I need to shoot it I know what to do. I just pray I never have to be in a situation like that, but I did overcome my fear AND know how to handle a gun from start to finish!
I want to give a special thank you to Jakobe for being patient with me and encouraging me along the way. I really appreciate your help in conquering this fear. I also want to thank Kelly for going first and paving the way of bravery. I'm glad we get to share this "first" and I do believe we rocked our safety gear... we might even be able to pull off our rocked safety gear outside of the shooting range... eh, maybe not.
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