I know I haven't been all that great at keeping this blog going. As many of you know I've been in this period of waiting. I know God has a plan for my life, but for the time being I've been waiting. I've been waiting because I know right here, right now is not a forever moment. I know God has something greater for me. When in a period of waiting it can be understandable to find myself getting comfortable and accept the lie that this might be it... with nothing else to look forward to. I always knew I was in waiting and I tried SO hard to ignore the lies and temptation to become comfortable because this is not the promise. The promise that God has a plan for my life and I just need to wait and be patient.
Well, the time has come to move on and moving I'll do. Not half way around the world to a new country with a new language, but to Arizona to be a dorm parent at an Indian school. There will be a new culture and the challenges that come along with that, but this is where God wants me and that's where I'll be.
About a month ago my sister was looking at the job board for a job herself when she came across a job listing and said it would be a perfect job for me. In the past three years or so I've seen many jobs that would be "perfect" for me. I've applied to a few without getting the job and others heard God's little whisper saying, "This isn't what I have for you. Keep waiting, your time is soon." I was expecting to hear God's whisper, but didn't hear the same whisper I've heard so many times before. Instead I heard, "Apply." I followed God's direction. I wish I could say I followed with full trust and enthusiasm, but I'd rather not lie. I was hesitant and waiting for SOMETHING to not fit or be right which then would let me know I'm still in this period of waiting. I sent in my application, had an interview via Skype and was offered the job. I actually didn't realize I had the job until I was sharing what was talked about during the interview with family and friends.
I then began to think about all the ways God has trained me and given me experience for this position. I thought about how everything in my life leads me to this job. I think of all of my work experience, my life experience, my schooling and overall life goals and purpose (to be a wife and a mother... and if this isn't as close to being a mother as a single woman I'm not sure what will be!).
While at Concordia working on my Bachelors in Behavioral Science: Sociology I wasn't sure exactly what I would be doing with my degree and figured a broad focus would be better than a specific focus. I took classes to reflect this, however, when I was taking a class on general people groups in America I found myself in a class where the professor didn't like me. She had it out for me. There would be students on their phones in class and she would say nothing to them, but me with my book open and not on the right page would get a lecture for not paying attention. When she started taking it out on my grades I was frustrated and not sure what to do. I was doing the same thing the other students were doing, but somehow my work was not what she was looking for and theirs was okay. I tried asking what it was that I was doing wrong, but she couldn't give me an answer. Fed-up, frustrated and hurt I dropped the class.
The following semester I took the only other class offered for that section's requirement. The class was Native People of North America. At the time I thought how this is SO specific of studying a people group and when would I ever need this information again? With no other option in classes I took this class. I was pleased when I found out it was offered by my favorite professor and even more excited when I found out this was his favorite class to teach. I knew his passion was going to be even higher than his normal high passion for his classes and at least this class was going to be more awesome than his other, already awesome, classes. I was right and this class was quite possibly my favorite class.
The following semester (now a year after the first class with the professor who didn't like me) I have a class with no other option and only one professor teaching it and as you could guess... it's the professor who doesn't like me. I was stressing out about taking this class. There was no other option and I wasn't sure what I was going to do. I figured in the very least I could get the books early and start reading with the goal of trying to get a handle on the subject before the class started. I got the three required books for the class and read one and half of another before the class began. The first day of class I was so nervous of what was going to happen. I got to class early and the first opportunity I had to talk her her I took. I approached her and inside I wanted to run and cry in the opposite direction. On the outside I was holding back tears of fear. I explained to her how I got the books ahead of time to try and get a better understanding of the class, but wasn't sure what to read first (I had sent her an e-mail, but she never responded to it). She informed me she didn't get the e-mail and the book I had completed was the first book we were going to go cover. She asked me some questions and said I understood the concept and main points in the book. She then told me to stop reading the second book and read the third because that was the next book we'd be covering, but what I had read I had an understanding of the subject at hand. I left that day still not sure how she would treat me, but at least I was on the right track. The rest of the class I was one of her favorite students. Mid semester I asked her if she remembered me in the class from the year before. I was confused how she could have hated me so, but now loved me. She looked at me puzzled and said, "You weren't in that class!" Not wanting to argue the point nor bring back any upset feelings I responded with a simple, "Oh, I must be thinking of another class" and left it at that. I was confused, but I wasn't about to push the issue.
It wasn't until now that I realized and fully understood how God had a plan for me and he was in the middle of orchestrating that plan. He knew I needed to take Native People of North America and he made sure I would take it. But, God is so kind and gracious he redeemed my self-esteem and hurt feelings by offering me another chance to face the professor of the class I didn't need. I love how God not only did what he needed to put me on the right path, but made sure my self-esteem was redeemed and I once again was a good, favored student.
I'm excited for this plan God has for me at the Indian school and I'm excited to continue to follow Him. I know there will be many challenging days ahead. I know I will have trials, but I know this is where God wants me. God wants me here to love on these children and be his hands and feet while telling them all about my savior, Jesus Christ, and what He's done for all of us!
I'm going to need help on this journey and there are two ways you can help. The first, being the more important, is to pray. Pray for me and the kids I'll be working with. Pray for strength and wisdom as I adjust to a new life style and way of living. Second, you can help by giving either as a one time gift or monthly. Please contact me and I'll let you know how you can help. I should mention this is going to be a missionary position. I will have a small annual salary (a little over $8,000 to be more specific) and although my room and board is covered, there are other expenses like insurance, internet (to stay in contact), food when the cafeteria is closed when the kids are off campus and many other expenses - including any crafts I'd like to do with the girls will need to come out of my pocket. If you would like to help sponsor me and help me on this journey I would greatly appreciate it.
My goal is to be more on top of posting to this blog. I want to make sure you are updated in my journey and know how your prayers and giving are being answered and used! I'll also send out e-mails and newsletters, so please make sure I have your contact information.
I'm excited for you to join me on this journey and I can't wait to see what God has continued to plan for my life.
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