Dresses and A Hair Cut

Dresses

My girls were given dresses for Christmas by a friend of mine. For some this is their first dress, for some this is their first new dress with tags from the store, but for all these are special dresses. I gave them to the girls last Wednesday when they saw one in a box and told the others what they saw. I realized this is the last Sunday they will be at the school before they go home for Christmas break and therefore their last Sunday to all wear their dresses at the same time before Christmas. The girls have begged to wear them each day, but I've had to tell them to keep them hung in their closet until Sunday. Last Friday we went to the store so they could pick out tights to wear with their new dresses for this Sunday (another gift by a friend of my mom's). Can YOU imagine the shopping trip with 8 of the 9 girls (one went home for the weekend)??? Fortunately Wal-Mart has the carts with the double seat for older kids and my friend was able to go with us. Between the two carts we were able to get all 8 girls (including the one almost as tall as I am) in both carts by putting the four smaller girls in the baskets. Besides picking out their tights the girls favorite part of the evening was the race between the two carts in the parking lot. Unfortunately my cart lost even when I asked the two older girls to get out and help push. I guess that's what happens when you race with someone with really long legs. Finally, Saturday night, I let the girls try on their dresses and tights so they know what to wear and how it is supposed to look for Sunday. They asked to sleep in their tights and dresses and were so saddened when I said no yet again.

At 2:30am I'm awoken by the tears of my youngest. She is crying telling me she had chicken pox. I get up and turn the light on to find she not only is wearing her dress and tights, but she has her hair done up in pig tails which she is unable to do on her own. I check for chicken pox and realize she has dry skin she had scratched on her arm. I tell her it is not chicken pox. Not willing to be convinced I put lotion on her arm and the redness goes away. Still whimpering I walk her back to bed to find THREE girls with their hair done by one another and fully dressed! When I remind them they were supposed to wait until morning they said, "But Miss Alice we woke up and thought it was morning because we can't sleep!" They were so disappointed when I told them they still have 5 hours before the real morning and they needed to go to their own beds.

They've asked why I'm keeping the wrapped presents in my apartment... because you wake up in the middle of the night and dress to the nines and then are disappointed to go back to sleep for 5 hours! I can only imagine if I were to put the presents under the tree!

As far as the chicken pox scare... the older girls saw the redness on her arm and told her it was chicken pox. After tucking her back into bed (in her dress and tights) she asked, "But what are chicken pox?" I explained they were itchy red bumps and they start on your tummy and then move to your arms, legs, feet, hands and head. I think I would have preferred this health lesson to be at a time other than 2:30am, but it's never too late (or early) to learn.

The REAL Sunday morning I woke and turned on the light in the hall (the signal they are allowed to get up, but not make a lot of noise until I come to each room and turn on the bedroom lights). I figured they'd like extra time to do their hair, but wasn't sure who would be up early. When I finished my shower and getting ready myself I go down the hall and only find my youngest in bed sleeping when I turn the bedroom lights on. I finally get to the last room down the hall and find all the girls helping one another curl each other's hair. After they finished with their hair they danced around the hall in their new dresses, tights and the long stemmed fake flowers we have in a vase to decorate the hall. I heard things like, "I'm a princess!" and "I'm a ballerina!" and "I'm queen of everything!"

To say my girls are excited for their new dresses and tights would be an understatement!

Hair Cut

My hair was getting really long and with my thick hair I get headaches when my hair is too long. I wanted to cut my hair in November, but when I casually mentioned it to my girls they all shrieked with a resounding "NO" and some even cried at the thought of me cutting my long hair. I decided to wait.

Before: Long Hair

This past week I realized I'm starting to get headaches from my long hair and should get it cut. I again, casually mentioned how I'm going to get my hair cut soon to my girls. When the one who cried the most asked how short I was going to cut it I let her know, "Very short, because I'm going to give it to kids with cancer." When she found that out she was excited for me to cut my hair... awesome! Not that I was fully letting the girls determine if I'd cut my hair, but I wanted them to be okay with me going from long hair to short hair. Now, when to get my hair cut.

I had decided I'd get it done during their Saturday activity (when the kids stay at the school every other weekend the other staff takes the kids out for 5 hours on Saturday to give the dorm parents a break). Saturday morning I got a text from another staff member asking if I was going to be around to sew up a pair of pants and I told her I could do it that evening because I was getting my hair cut. She mentioned how she needed a hair cut as well, so I invited her along.

Being new to the area I didn't know where to go to get my hair cut, but saw a few places about a half hour away in the small town on the way to the larger town. When we drove by we noticed a few places other than the place I had originally thought of, but they were all closed. We knew we could get our hair cut at Wal-Mart, but we were a little hesitant to getting our hair cut at Wal-Mart. With no other options and time ticking away we knew this was where we needed to go if we were going to get our hair cut that afternoon.

I went in and mentioned how I wanted to donate it and was happy to know she knew exactly what to do in order to donate my hair (I've been to other places that had no idea and wouldn't listen to the way I told them the first cut needed to be done... talk about frustration). I told my hair stylist she didn't have to worry about going too short because I've shaved my head when my mom had cancer and I'm not worried about going from really long to really short. I could tell she was hesitant to cutting it shorter and was trying to keep some length. I figured I'd just let her do her thing and if anything I can always get it cut again another time. In the end I was pleased with her work... simple, but not bad.

 

After: I like the flip.

After a few days I realized the left side was about a half inch or so longer than the right side. At first I just tried to ignore it, but I couldn't. I had to do something about it, but with my limited options of hair salons I waited until I went to California for Christmas break. I'm glad I was able to get it fixed because I'm much happier with my hair now. When I was younger I never understood why people were particular on where they get their hair cut and who their hair stylist is, but now that I've had a few bad hair cuts (or a little uneven) I have a feeling I'll be coordinating break time with hair cuts from my hair stylist.

A Worm, A Snail, Pots of Spaghetti and Sentences

I missed 3 on the 3rd last month as I was experiencing kidney stones. I thought about adding a few more pictures to this month's blog, but the girls are napping and I'd like to finish this so I can take a nap myself!

A Worm and A Snail

This morning I woke the girls up and asked them to get ready for church. When I went back to check on them I found a worm and snail racing down the hall. The worm used her pink sleeping bag and the snail wrapped herself in her blanket and then used the worm and her pillows to create her shell. The other girls cheered them on as they inched and slithered down the hall.

The girls are so creative and come up with the most random ways to use the things we have to create something to play with. My favorite is when the girls used the long handled dustpans (like the ones you'd see at amusement parks to sweep up the streets) and attached a bag as either an IV bag or an oxygen tank and used a glow stick necklace that lost it's glow as their oxygen tube that went under their nose. They'd walk around the dorm hunched back calling out for "Grandma J" or "Grandma S." Hilarious what they could come up with using a few random items and their creativity.

Pots of Spaghetti

When the girls are here for the weekend the older girl's dorm parent cleans and I cook. This means I'm cooking for up to 21 people every meal. This weekend we had quite a few girls go home and we only had 16 people to prepare meals for this weekend. This still means two large pots of spaghetti for Sunday lunch. I'm VERY grateful for the second large pot my friend sent me within the first month of school. When I came I had a very small box of cooking items... my collection has grown considerably to accommodate the needs of dorm life. I think the best investment was the electric griddle. There are times I wish I got a larger griddle because 8 grilled cheese sandwiches at a time just isn't fast enough to fill these girls up in a timely manner. We make due and all the girls leave each meal with a full belly.

Sentences

One form of consequences we use at the school are sentences. I've learned my girls aren't as responsive to sentences as other consequences, but sentences are always an option. This weekend I gave the girls over an hour to clean the dorm being sure to pick up and put away their belongings. In fact, this past week they struggled to keep their things picked up. Saturday morning I told the girls they needed to pick up their things because I was coming around with the ransom box after breakfast.

The ransom box is a box I take things that have been left out for ransom. In the past they've had to do things like look up and read Bible verses to a friend, sing songs, crab walk down the hall, do extra chores and other various things I could think of that they could do on their own without my assistance. They didn't seem motivated to get their move on knowing the ransom box was coming out, so I decided to change things up a bit.

I took pieces of paper and wrote numbers on them. I typed out a page of sentences (I do this for two reasons, it's easier for me to hand the girls a page regardless of the number of sentences on it and two the girls can trace the dotted letters to practice their penmanship). I then went through and collected all the items not put away while the girls stood by their bedroom doors. I ended up with a pile at least 3 feet high. The girls didn't seem phased at the amount of items in the box (normally there is room to spare in the box). I then told the girls to sort out the box and keep a pile for dorm items (like Wii remotes, puzzle pieces, etc.) and told them to count each item. I then told the girls that for every 10 items they had to choose a slip of paper or ticket. The dorm pile had 21 items, so they each had to draw an extra 2 slips. We added the number on the slips and that was how many sentences pages the girls had to write. When I realized two of my girls had over 70 items in the ransom box I decided to cap the number of pages to 15 sentences pages.

I told the girls to put their stuff away while I printed their pages. I came back with packets of sentences and the colored pencil box for the girls to use. Needless to say this sentence writing consequence has been working considering the dorm is MUCH cleaner than it has been all week. My desk, however, is covered with sentences packets.

God's Grace and Mercy

For the past week I've had a child, for privacy sake we'll call her Megumi, who has been acting differently. Knowing her history I know there is a lot this nine year old is dealing with and processing in her short life. I continue to give her grace (giving her what she doesn't deserve) to show her true love. I continually ask God to give me ways to show her His love through me. I continually ask God for the time to spend one on one with her even though it's difficult with nine other girls to look after.

This past week has been especially difficult because of Megumi's attitude and behavior. She had been refusing to eat for a few days and I couldn't figure out why. I figured she'd eventually get hungry enough and eat when she's ready. When she was struggling with her homework one night I allowed her to come into my apartment (which is connected to their dorm through a dutch door and was made off limits for the time being for the girls taking things from my apartment without permission). While she was finishing up her homework her roommate was cleaning the room, but left maybe half a dozen of Megumi's clothes to put away. When Megumi was finished with her homework I told her she needed to finish cleaning her room by putting away her clothes and then taking a shower. She looks me squarely in the face and says, "I'd rather sit on my bed and cry." She then proceeded to go into her room and cry on her bed.

I left her to cry on her bed while the other girls finished their movie we had started the previous week. At this point I wasn't concerned about her crying herself to sleep because we had changed our schedule and did our nightly devotions right after dinner. What I didn't expect was her realizing I wasn't giving her attention and her doing what she could to get attention. Megumi started by crying louder. I just stood down the hall to keep an eye on the girls watching the movie while keeping an ear out for Megumi crying on her bed. She then tried kicking the wall. I stood at her door, just out of sight, to make sure she wasn't doing it in a way to hurt herself or the wall. She then got out of bed (still crying though this whole episode) and sat in her closet. She took her toothbrush and started banging it against her closet floor. At this point I realized she just wanted to disturb the other girls because they weren't paying attention to her crying for attention. When this didn't work she got louder and started tearing her closet apart by throwing the clothes off the hanger on to the floor. She started to bang anything that would make noise. I went in and told her that she can break her own things, but she cannot and will not break school property and removed her water cup the girls have in their rooms. She started to bang her ceramic piggy bank against her closet and I told her I didn't want to hear about it when the bank broke. She gave me a look of "I don't care!" but went back to banging her toothbrush on the closet floor as soon as I left the room.

When the girls movie was coming to an end I quickly realized if Megumi knew she had an audience this would be a lot longer of a tantrum than it needed to be (as if it wasn't already long enough). I went into her room and told her to get on her bed and she needed to be quiet. She again gave me the look of "I don't care!" and threw in a look of "I'm not moving!" I picked her up and put her on her bed (thank you Jesus for the strength!). By the time the girls were finished with their movie and were sent to bed Megumi's tantrum had stopped and she had fallen asleep. At this point I wasn't going to push the shower and figured she can shower and clean her room tomorrow morning when I wake her up before the other girls.

The following morning I went into her room and told her she needed to shower and clean her room. She got up and got moving. I left her to get myself ready before the other girls needed to get up. When I went back into the hall to wake the other girls up Megumi was dressed and selectively picking up her room. I wasn't going to force another tantrum and just let her be, but I realized she hadn't taken a shower. I let her know I appreciated her getting up, dressed and cleaning her room, but she forgot to shower. She just huffed at me and crawled on her bed. I wasn't going to play her game and left her room to get the other girls on task of getting ready.

A little while later I was thinking how great it was to have all the girls ready for school early and we were going to be early for breakfast (we tend to be a little late in the mornings), but then I realized I hadn't seen Megumi in awhile. Another child peeks into her room and tells me Megumi is asleep on her bed. So much for going to breakfast early! I went in and tried to wake her, but she won't move. I called the other dorm mom for help in taking my other girls to breakfast while I dealt with Megumi (who was now awake, but not moving).

With the other girls off to breakfast I sit on the edge of Megumi's bed and remind her how I can't help her if she doesn't talk to me. She still refuses to talk to me. I tell her I'm going to my apartment and she can come talk to me when she's ready, but if she's not ready in the next 10 minutes it will be too late for breakfast. As I'm walking out of the room she tells me she needs to return something to me. Not having a clue what she's talking about I told her that was fine - I'll be in my apartment. As I'm walking down the hall I hear her getting up and moving around. I get to my apartment and try to look busy, but still trying to figure out what she needed to return to me.

She comes into my apartment and I stop what I'm "doing" to see her place an ace wrap bandage on my desk. She then says, "I stole this from you." Not sure what to say, and bewildered as to when she took the wrap and even why, I just looked at her. She then started to cry. I knew in this moment her odd behavior in the previous week was associated with this ace wrap she had stolen from my apartment. I knew I had every right to chew her up and spit her out. After all it's been two weeks since the girls have been under the ban of not having access to my apartment. I started to think of all the things I could punish her with... no special activities, extra chores, 100 sentences... no make that 100 paragraphs!

I then realized the guilt this child has been carrying and all she's done to shake it away only to have it weigh heavier and heavier upon her tiny nine year old shoulders. I then thought of God's mercy (not giving us what we deserve) and opened my mouth to hear the still calm words flow from my mouth, "I'm sad you stole from me, but I forgive you. I love you, Megumi."

Through her tears I can tell she doesn't believe me. She's waiting for her punishment. But, today, there is no punishment for she has been punished enough.

My attention is then drawn away by the office calling and needing my attention. When I return to Megumi I find her in the bathroom scrubbing the sink as if she's punishing herself and needing penitence for her action. I repeat myself, "I forgive you. I love you, Megumi." Her tears well up again. I repeat myself, "I love you."

We begin to walk to breakfast unsure if we're too late and I put my arm around her slumped shoulders and repeat to her, "I love you, Megumi." I can feel her shoulders lift and she looks at me with an expression I'll never forget. An expression of understanding that although I had every right to punish her until I couldn't think of anything else to punish her with, I forgive her and it's time to move on.

A few nights later we're at our weekly mid-week kid's program and the topic of the night: mercy. When given the definition of mercy and asked what it's called I see Megumi's little hand raise up ready to share what this very personal life lesson she's just learned is called, "When we don't get what we deserve it's called MERCY!"

I thank God I was able to be used as a personal lesson for this little girl, but in addition to her lesson I learned what it's like to extend mercy.

By the way, for those who do not know Megumi is the Japanese name for the American name Grace or blessing. What a blessing it is to have Megumi in my care this school year... even though the rough times she still is a blessing I get to extend grace upon!

Birthday Surprises and Laundry

Can we just take a moment and celebrate the fact I remembered to take pictures today? 

WHOO HOO!!!!

Okay, thank you. So, now on to what I was going to blog about today on the 3rd of September...

3 on the 3rd Picture #1: Surprise Party Clean-Up

This past weekend I had activities and events planned all weekend. The girls are here on my actual birthday and I know there were things going on this weekend people were going to be off campus doing. So, I sent out invitations and invited people to everything I was doing this weekend. Well, the weekend started off rocky with a few accidents on the highway and therefore the girls weren't able to be picked up until hours after the end of pick-up. Then the following day no one showed up for the activities. I was hurt and very disappointed. 

Sunday a friend and I went to Flagstaff after church. What I didn't know was there was a surprise party being thrown and they were decorating my hall and apartment. There was candy hidden throughout my apartment with notes that read, "Eat me..." and something about where it was hidden. It was very creative and thoughtful. This surprise party made up for the previous disappointment. We also had a potluck and game night Monday... so needless to say today's list involves party clean up. :)

3 on the 3rd Picture #2: Laundry

I know it's a mom thing to always be doing laundry... but there are days I wonder if I have more than 10 girls!

3 on the 3rd Picture #3: Laundry Project

Like I just said I have 10 girls and trying to keep track of who's clothes belong to whom is quite impossible. I write their names on their clothes, but yet still find clothes without names.  I finally got tired of asking the question, "Who's clothes are these?" I decided to hang their clothes up and let them find their clothes themselves.

The second "clothes line" is for clothes that weren't turned right side out before going into the laundry (mostly socks). Again... I have 10 girls with a minimum of 2 outfits each day (school uniform and play clothes) and I don't have time to turn 20 outfits right side out while sorting through their laundry.

The following are the signs above the "clothes line":

 Homeless Clothes

To take me to my rightful home ask

Miss Alice to write your name on me.

Uh Oh!

I'm Inside Out...

You can take me down and turn me right side out, but please

remember to keep me right side out before going into the laundry.

Just like my birthday weekend turned around for the better I'm hoping the laundry will turn around for the better. 

For Such A Time As This

I knew God was going to use me at this school, but I wasn't sure how or why I needed to be here. All I knew is God guided and I followed. I was called and I obeyed. 

This past week was a particularly tough week. There were many tears and many consequences for bad choices. This past week there were a few times I thought, "Why am I here? Am I really making a difference with these girls?" I just kept going day by day, moment my moment doing what I needed to do. 

Our typical nights include the girls taking showers and getting ready for bed, have our devotions (Jesus Calling for kids and an Alice in Bibleland book) together. After our devotions I send the kids to bed and pray with the girls room by room. It's the sweetest part of the day because it's as close as I get to one on one with the girls, not to mention we get to spend that time talking with God. 

Well, Tuesday night as I'm trying to get all the girls in bed and stay there I find a group of girls in the hall huddled together crying. They had talked about being homesick and asked me how many more days until they get to go home for the weekend. I went to the hall and was tackled with crying girls. I stood in the hall with these girls crying on me. I prayed with them and comforted them doing my best to stretch my short arms around this tangled mound of homesick little girls. After a while I realized they could all stand there all night, so I needed to send them to bed. After I got them to bed and prayed with them I looked down at my shirt and noticed all the snot and tear stains. If this wasn't a mom moment I'm not sure what would be. My heart breaks for these girls and their homesickness and if I have to be covered in snot and tear stains then so be it. I'm here for such a time as this.

Wednesday night some of the older girls started to talk about seeing scary things in the dorm. I tried to stop the fear with prayer, but the girls were worked up. I knew the older girls needed to share with me how they felt and what they saw, but I couldn't get them to be quiet and wait until the little ones were in bed. Next thing I knew I had 10 little girls scared to go to bed. I tried to pray with them to ask God to help calm them. By this time I was frustrated and just wanted to yell at them there was nothing to be afraid of and go to bed, but I knew that wasn't the way I needed to respond. I just told the girls I'd pray with the girls who were in bed. I then left the girls hanging out in the hall refusing to go to bed. I went in to pray with the girls following my directions. While I was talking to them before they go to bed the older of the two started crying saying she was scared. I scooped her up and held her tight and told her there was nothing to be afraid of because we already prayed for God's protection. She then asked me how Jesus can be in her heart. I talked to her about how we are all born sinners and Jesus died on the cross for our sins so we can go to Heaven and be with God. I then explained all we have to do is ask Jesus to come in our heart by praying and asking Him. I asked if she wanted to pray and ask Jesus in her heart. She said yes and at the same time I hear the younger one say, "I want Jesus in my heart, too!" So we prayed. When I opened my eyes I noticed the girls from the hall were in the room asking if they can ask Jesus in their heart.

I explained to them what this means and asked if they understood what they were asking. By the time I was finished talking with them I realized the first girl went and got the others out of bed and brought them in. I asked her why she did this and she said, "Because they need to do this too!" I explained to her we can't force people to ask Jesus in their heart and this has to be a decision people make on their own. I then hear 8 little girls say, "But, Miss Alice, we want Jesus in our hearts!" I prayed with the girls and thought this evening, although an hour after bed time, would be a lot smoother. 

I was wrong. I sent the girls to bed where the older girls started freaking out and not going into their room. This caused the little ones to be afraid of going into their rooms. I called my supervisor to come and help because at this point I wasn't sure what to do. I tried to tell the girls there was nothing to be afraid of and to just say to the scary things, "In Jesus name go away!" I explained the power in Jesus' name, but they were so worked up they were unable to calm themselves down. I was constantly praying and asking God for help in calming these girls down and getting them to bed. I had more than half of the girls in their rooms and almost in bed when I hear the older girls scream a blood curdling scream while running down the hall toward me with fear only to land in my arms shivering like I've never seen someone so scared. This of course gets all the girls up and I'm wondering what was going on. I then realized I had called my supervisor and he was coming into my apartment to help. 

I showed the girls it was just my supervisor (who they all know) and there was nothing to be afraid of. He then helped me by taking the older girls and talking with them and giving my Bibles and Alice in Bibleland books to hold and look through. He then has them lay down on my couches while I put the other girls to bed. I had one little one who was so worked up we had to call the other dorm mom to come and take her over to her side for a while. Once the older girls were asleep on my couch and we prayed over the girls again I was left with seven girls in bed and three sleeping girls who needed to get into bed. I went over to the other side and picked up the 2nd grader (who is almost as tall as I am) and carried her back to bed. I went in to the 5th graders and realized there was no way I was going to be able to carry these girls. I prayed and asked God to not let them be scared as I woke them up to go to bed. When I woke them up to go back to bed they asked if they could take my stuffed animals they found in my living room and were snuggling with back to bed. I told them they could and with their arms full of stuffed animals, Alice in Bibleland books and a Bible they went off to bed. 

Two and a half hours after bed time I crawled into bed exhausted and realized even though there was a crazy, crazy night I was here for such a time as this to lead these girls to Christ. 

I know my work here is not done, but I see the fruit of my obedience. God is so good! When I feel I can't do this any more he gives me something to say, "You're doing exactly what I want you to do." 

The girls are homesick and feeling alone (even with 10 other people in the dorm). They have a busy schedule and often are mad at me for keeping them on schedule, but then I get things like this left on my desk as they go home for the weekend and I realize it's all worth it. I'm here for such a time as this.

The note says:

Fm. *** 

To: Ms Alice

Package

some(thing) to make u remember me over the weekend

:) ****

Dorm

Last week I made a video of my apartment (which I wish I could say my desk was as clean as it was, but with all the papers I've been getting about schedule changes and upcoming events it's hard to keep those organized when I'm running in and out all day long). Finally, what seemed like forever, I was able to finish preparing for the girls and was able to make a video to share all I've been doing.

Anyhow, I've uploaded the video of the girls hall to show where the girls will be living. You can watch the video HERE. Again, this video was made late at night and I realized after watching it I should really think before I talk (I use a lot of "like," "um," and so on), not to mention I was a bit scatter brained and didn't really have a flow besides walk down the hall and see something else I wanted to point out. Then again, I'm sure this isn't a video you'll be watching over and over again. How exciting can a little girls dorm be?

Three on the Third: August

So, my brilliant idea (actually copied from someone else) was to take three pictures of the things I did on the third of every month. This way I have something to post on my blog. Things didn't go as planned. Actually, considering it's 12:30 at night I'd say things haven't really gone as planned pretty much at all.

My plan today was to finish getting the dorm set for the girls who come in three days - including making their beds, putting the games and books in their living room and finnish decorating the hall. I also had a few other things to do like prepare for a skit I'm performing with some other staff members on Tuesday and preparing to lead worship on Monday (which really is more like worship for the kids that aren't coming until Tuesday evening rather than the adults). I also wanted to get my first edition of my newsletter out (if you'd like to be on my e-mail list send me your e-mail).

Instead of rapidly checking things off my list I talked to most of my family members for a few hours this morning. I don't know what happened to the time except to agree with the old saying of time flies when you're having fun!

I then was invited to go out in the evening, but I didn't really want to go and would rather have stayed in to finish my list of things to do. But, I was specifically asked to go and I'm still in the stage of getting to know everyone, so I agreed to go. While out for ice cream I was invited to a game night. Of course I again didn't want to go, but agreed on the condition I could get a few more things finished before I could go out again.

Looking at my list of things to do I got a lot done and spent some time with new friends, but the dorms are a little away from being ready for the girls. I know these next few days are going to be busy, but some how, some way I'm going to have to figure out how to get everything finished.

Hopefully September 3rd I'll have more pictures to post... after all, it will be my last day in my 20's (I'm still not sure how I feel about turning 30!).