Must See Video

Be advised: Very graphic images. Very true images, but very graphic.  

If I don't use my blog to share God's message then I might as well delete my blog. The following is a video that is a half hour long. If you don't have time now to watch it, please watch it as soon as you do have time.

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I'm not sure if I did this correctly, so here's the link for you to go to.

If you'd like to talk about what you've just seen please send me an e-mail. I'd love to talk with you.

Oh Happy Day!

Today was a big day. I found out the results of the MRI of my wrist and had my interview with MeySen on Skype. What I was not expecting was another miracle from God.

Since the tsunami in Japan earlier this year I’ve tried to get in contact with people I know in Japan. I sent e-mails and letters to those I had their information, but I lost contact with those at the church I stayed at in Mito City. I contacted others from the San Diego team and they also lost contact. One day I remembered I had an e-mail address for a woman and her three children. I couldn’t remember her name, but have the name of her three children on the origami gifts they gave me. I wasn’t sure if the e-mail was still valid, but took a chance. I waited for a response and didn’t receive anything, but could have accidentally deleted it in my spam folder. Months go by and I’m pretty sure there is no hope to gaining contact. 

While on Facebook I see a suggested friend with a Japanese name. I don’t recognize the name and the profile picture is a drawing. I then look for someone in common as a friend, but I don’t recognize any of her friends. I look at the schools or anything else Facebook would use to connect people. Nothing is the same. I have no idea why Facebook suggested us as friends, but I request her as a friend and figured why not make a new friend. 

A few days later the friendship is accepted and her children are now listed (she’s new to Facebook and doesn’t have much information posted). I recognize the names of her children! I think this is the same lady I met in Japan three years ago! I asked if she went to the church I stayed at and she said yes and remembers me! I’m still amazed at this whole story. I have no clue why Facebook would suggest us to be friends and here this is the same woman I’ve been looking for! If this isn’t God working I’m not sure what is!

Now, for my doctor’s appointment. I’ve been waiting five weeks to hear what is going on with my wrist! I’ve tried to be patient, but have had many not so patient moments. When I got to the office the lady at the front desk said she didn’t have the right x-ray. I began to worry thinking the MRI results hadn’t come in and I’d have to wait longer. Then she asked about my toe and the appointment for that. I told her I didn’t have an appointment for my toe and nothing more was said since the first appointment. She then said they could see me for my toe today. I thought she was saying my wrist was not going to be seen, but just my toe. I began to panic and think how I’ve waited so long and I have to wait longer! Then she clarified what she was saying and said the MRI results are in, but they’d like x-rays of my toe to see if it has healed. Once I calmed down from my “oh my, please don’t make me wait longer” panic and realized they wanted to check everything I was good to go. 

Once I got the x-rays and was in the room I was nervous for what I was about to hear. My mind was going all over the place from surgery to recovery to what these things would entail. When the doctor came in he barely greets me before saying, “Everything looks good.” He then went on to say there are two places he was concerned about, but nothing that would need surgery. In the area they were concerned about there was nothing he could see, but said there might be a small tear that they would need to take a camera and go in and check it out like a little surgery to clarify there is a tear; the therapy would be the same as if they didn’t do this surgery so we opted to just let it be. I’m now in a brace and still can’t use my hand for the next two weeks, but can gradually use my hand, but use pain as a guide. He also pointed out the position of a bone and commented on the way it was not equally apart from the other bones. He thinks this is from an old injury, but nothing to worry about. The only other injury I can think of is when I crochet my wrist hurts, but I don’t know if it is a bone not in the right place equally apart from the bones around it, but in the end all is good. Basically I’m not supposed to rotate my wrist and not lift anything over five pounds - if that much is even tolerable. As far as my toe I’m supposed to keep wearing the boot out and about, but can start wearing shoes when I feel comfortable (probably in two weeks). 

As far as my interview I’ll find out about that in November, but I think it went well. Of course I’m thinking of things I could have added or phrased differently, but I always think things like that. I think I said what I needed and answered the questions to the best of my ability. When they asked about my wrist I told them I was fighting ninja elephants... but then told them I fell down the stairs. I’m thinking joking may not have been the best thing, but they did laugh and it wasn’t a real interview question but more like oh man what happened? I’m hoping they understood what I was trying to say and got a good sense of who I am and why I’d be awesome to work at MeySen.

Then as if this wasn’t enough to call today a happy day I got a check for the work I did for the state testing. Whoo hoo! Check in the mail. Interview done. Great injury results. Friend found on Facebook. Sounds like a happy day that will keep me smiling!

I only have one hand and it's busy right now!

I'm glad I didn't miss class last night for the appointment with the surgeon, but man do I wish I had the results from my MRI! I also wish I got this stinky smelly cast off yesterday, too!

In the middle of the night I tend to take off my socks and sometimes other clothes, but last night was a first. I was trying to take off my cast! At first I thought my blanket was wrapped around my arm, but when I couldn't get it off my arm I tried harder to wiggle my arm free. It wasn't until I fully woke up I realized it was my casted arm and it wasn't going to get free. It was a disappointment, but there wasn't much I could do besides go back to sleep. 

I think having my arm free is going to be so weird. I've kind of come accustomed to the limited use of my left hand/arm. My typing is a lot faster, but nothing like two hands. I've also figured out how to get myself ready with limited help. Although tying shoes one handed is nearly impossible that's what flip flops are for! I've also started driving by myself. My turning is not as smooth as I'd like, but the job gets done without any accidents or causing traffic. I'm sure the tiredness felt in my right arm will lessen as the muscles get used to driving one handed. One good thing about having only one hand is I can't be tempted to talk on the phone while driving because I only have one hand and it's busy at the moment. I have to be patient when my phone rings and wait until I'm parked to call them back. 

I'm trying to be patient in finding out the MRI results, but even though it's less than two days away I'm going crazy at thinking about how I could have known yesterday! Monday is going to be a big day for me. I meet with the surgeon and then have my interview with MeySen! Hopefully it's a big day full of good news! I know at this point the good news for my wrist is unexpected, but I guess any news is better than more bad news! I guess I'm hoping if surgery is needed it is quickly scheduled and healing is quick. I am hoping more that surgery is not necessary and I can get started on physical therapy right away! I'm also hoping there won't be any other options too different than the ones I've thought of... like just amputating my arm and calling it done. As far as the interview I'm nervous and excited. I know it will be a while before I hear the "results" from that, but hopefully the good news of acceptance is offered quickly! Again, I'm hoping no other options will be offered. :) 

Fall Update

I've been asked by many about the healing of my fall injuries. Here's the latest news.

The original dates I had for my broken toe were four to six weeks. The second doctor said six to eight weeks. I'm not too sure why the difference in dates, but I think the earlier is the pain factor and the second is the complete healing. Needless to say come four weeks I was itching to drive (I tried once in the second week, but it wasn't a good idea). My parents are nervous to let me go anywhere alone because they want the option for me to pull over and let someone else drive. Although I do agree up to an hour in traffic to school might still be much, but I think I can make it to the store down the street. 

I was so happy when my mom let me drive to and from the store on the four week mark! Even though I showed my mom I could drive short distances she still insists someone go with me. Needless to say I can't wait for four more weeks to pass by so I can drive alone and not need my parents to go with me. I can't remember a time since my first driving permit when my parents insisted I not drive alone (and for the permit it was only because the law said I needed an adult in the car). The day I got my license my mom didn't even tell me a time to be home or ask where I was going, but now at 28 I have to make sure someone can go with me everywhere and coordinate schedules. Common four weeks pass by quickly!

As far as the wrist I still have no idea how much longer until I'm completely healed. There are no broken bones, but the doctor suspects a tear. I had an MRI last week and will meet with the surgeon in a little over a week from now. The MRI experience was scary for me and having a panic attack in the machine where the slightest movement is not good was not a fun experience. I was okay at first, but once the noise got loud and I realized I didn't know how long I'd be in the machine the panic attack started. During the MRI I cried without moving. I guess crying without making noise my mom would require us to do when we younger also helps with crying and not moving. I can still hear her voice say, "You can cry all you want, but you can't make a noise." The trick is it's really hard to do and so you stop crying, but I've figured out how to cry with tears and no sound... I guess I was determined to show I was upset for whatever reason. While in the MRI machine I was asking God to comfort me and calm me. When it was over, about a half hour later I was glad to be done and grateful I didn't stop the MRI and have to come back another day. 

The overall pain level in my wrist is still pretty high. I tried holding my laptop like a book in the crook of my arm the other day and was so sad to realize the few pounds was too much for my casted wrist to handle. It's discouraging to know there is improvement for my toe and see the light at the end of the tunnel, but not know anything for my wrist. 

For the good news, thanks to the great invention of the microwave, I'm able to make myself meals. I usually don't use the microwave very often, but with only one hand the stove and oven are not the easiest to use. I use the toaster oven and microwave and have made some decent yummy dishes. I also got a lot of frozen vegan or vegetarian foods. The only one I don't like so far is the vegan bacon. The texture is like a mixture of play-doh and rubber and the flavor is a little too close to the real thing for me to enjoy, but a friend suggested crumbling it and making twice baked potatoes. I'll get back to you on that one, but here was a vegetarian meal that was yummy:

Microwaved cheese enchiladas, rice, and vegetables.

The day I meet with the surgeon I also have an interview with Meysen. This is my final interview and I hope I am accepted. Needless to say that blog posting will be one I'm sure everyone will want to read. :)

I Can Only Imagine

I Can Only Imagine by MercyMe is one of those songs that is more than a song to me. It makes me think of the goal I'm working toward and the prize I'll have one day. I love songs like this. I love songs that make me think long into the next few songs on the radio or my iPod. Can you imagine what is going on in my head when a string of songs like this come on? In those moments I usually have to put everything down and just worship the one who has created me!

While watching the music video for I Can Only Imagine again this morning (there are corny shows on JCTV, but it is a channel I flip to on a regular basis). Anyhow, while watching the video again I'm reminded of the cemetery where my grandparents are buried. Every few years my family will go and clean up my grandparents headstones. Here's a video of the latest trip...

Next to my grandparents are the infant and children burial plots. My grandma wanted to be next to the babies. Every time we visit the gravesite we walk around and take note of the ages. We try to find the person who was born the earliest (if I remember correctly it's in the late 1800's). We look for the person who lived the longest (usually over 100). We look for the newest "neighbor in the neighborhood," which is usually an infant. We'll look for spouses who are super old and wonder if they are still alive or have remarried and are buried with their new spouse (there is this one man who died in the 80's and his wife's birthday is engraved with "19--" as the end date. The comment of how silly we were to think the world would end in the year 2000 always comes up). We also look at the various headstones and comment on the pictures and images the family has chosen to remember their loved one by (usually a rose if not their picture, but we have seen sewing items, engineer symbols and other hobbies represented). In the baby section some families will fence off the burial plot with small garden fences and leave children's toys. As long as the items are in the fenced areas the grounds crew won't touch it (wilted flowers will be thrown away if left outside of the fenced off area, we've asked). For some of the fenced off areas we find all sorts of toys: teddy bears, trucks, cars, small McDonald's toys, garden decorations, and sometimes even food!

I've never lost a child (and pray I never do!), but to leave so many toys is sad to me. I understand the loss, but I'm sad because I wonder if the families know Jesus and will ever see their babies again? By the offerings of toys and even food I'm guessing not. Now, I'm not fully positive small children under a few years old are in heaven, but I know I serve a merciful God and would like to believe he would accept these babies to heaven even though they have never had the opportunity to ask for forgiveness of their sins and accept Jesus. This is one of those things people can argue about until the end, but for now I'll just keep living my life for God and see for myself when I get to heaven.

We clean the headstones of my grandparents because we remember our grandparents and this gives us an opportunity to remember the life they have lived, but for so many the gravesite is so much more. I get the feeling this is all they have to look forward to - a piece of land that holds the remains of their loved one.

I've never been afraid of dying because I know where I'm going and if I get to rock it with Jesus earlier than being an old grandma then sweet monkey love I'm rockin' it with Jesus! I wish everyone understood this point of view... it's such a peaceful one (with praise music playing)!

Couch Potato

I find watching TV a waste of time, but yet find myself wrapped up into watching hours and hours when I'm sitting here not wanting to work on schoolwork. I've watched more TV in the past three weeks than I have in possibly two years! Of course I have my regular shows, mostly reality/game shows, but depending on the week we're talking 1-4 hours and usually less! Lately, however, my normal TV time is consumed before lunch each day! What am I watching you ask? Nothing of importance: reruns of Friends, various shows on HGTV or Game Show Network (what can I say I love watching people win). 

I know I own a lot of movies and love to watch them, but there is something about watching a video on DVD verses TV. At the end of the movie that's the end - there isn't another movie or show "coming up next." I get wrapped up in the next show and before I realize it I've been wrapped up into four shows and it's been two hours gone to the ever growing couch potato! 

I'd like to say I'm just going to stop watching TV, but I'm not going to fool myself. I realize I'm spending an unusual amount of time laying here resting with nothing to do beside schoolwork and watching countless hours of TV. However, I am thinking of ways to limit my excessive TV watching by setting the sleep timer and then putting the remote next to my schoolbooks instead of right next to me. I'm hoping by doing this I will watch TV less and do schoolwork more. If you see me in the next few weeks (or possibly months) will you ask me how this new limited TV is working? 

Thanks!

Happy Birthday to Me!!!

I had the genius idea to have a vegetarian potluck for my birthday. I love potlucks and the hodge podge meal that comes together. I love how everyone comes together for a great meal and fellowship, but it's hard when you're a vegetarian. Usually I'll have an array of potato salad... and I'm not a huge fan of potato salad. So, for my birthday I figured a vegetarian potluck would be fun.

When I got hurt I was afraid I was going to have to cancel, but fortunately the whole thing of being a potluck meant laid back and easy. I wasn't going to have a schedule or any big plans during the party. I figured we needed something to do beside eat and talk, so I used paper for the table cloths and set out crayons. I also used the clay I had for the class I taught last spring and figured that would be fun to play with.

The tables with the crayons and clay.

Glaphre posed for a picture while setting up.

The set-up crew waiting for guests to arrive.

The one thing I told my mom I wanted was Sage's pumpkin cupcakes. I didn't care about anything else, but these pumpkin cupcakes are AMAZING!!! I was so happy to have them. Thank you Sage for making your AMAZING cupcakes!

The most delicious cupcakes ever!

I've decided not to post pictures of anyone outside of my family in my blog unless I've had permission. I forgot to ask everyone while taking pictures at my party. Here's the picture of my family. Anyone in the background is blurred - especially the children at my party.

Coloring on the tables and playing with clay was such a hit. When two young men got home they told their mom my party was "REALLY cool!"

I love the messages left on the tables. This one read "To a very special lady - Alice - Happy Birthday!!"

Even as the other tables were being cleaned up, these kids couldn't stop playing. I LOVE it!

I had told everyone the greatest present they could give me was their presence at my party (I'm so bummed I forgot to get permission to post the pictures of us together!). So in lieu of the pictures I took a picture of the cards and gifts. I love the thoughtfulness of each card and gift. I realized when I got home we never got a picture of all the yummy food (including the dishes people sent since they couldn't make it). Just imagine a delicious assortment of wonderful vegetarian dishes.

I wish I could comment on every single gift, but I don't know how much longer I can type one handed, but I wanted to comment on the flower. My friend left it in her car and it started to wilt and look sad when she came back to it. She did the only thing she could do and watered it with her Pepsi and prayed it would revive to give to me. When I read her story in her card I started to cry thinking this is like my injury. I'm doing all I can with the doctors I'm provided, but the prayers are what is really going to heal me. Thank you to all my friends who have been praying!

This gift was the most creative for my cast. It's "cast bling!" 

I love my creative friends and this is just one example of how creative my friends are!

Thank you to my family for all your help. Thanks to my friends for making my vegetarian potluck a success! I couldn't have planned it any better - well the cast (that looks like a whale eating my arm) could have not been there, but regardless it was a fantastic birthday!

I'm trying to stay positive

This was me attempting to give my mom two thumbs up in my old cast, but I didn't quite make it.

It is very difficult to remain positive right now.

I had a doctor's appointment yesterday. I knew they were removing the cast to re-x-ray and I was hoping they wouldn't have to put on a new cast, but maybe a brace for the sprain/strain. I was hoping for no broken bones. What I was not ready to hear was the news my wrist is worse than they thought and I need an MRI to tell if something is torn. Then the big news came - the next step is to talk to a surgeon about the results and a possible surgery.

Yesterday the bad day didn't just follow me. Gina had come to take me to school since my mom was uncomfortable driving me the hour in traffic to school (which because of the pain of moving my wrist for the exam and the emotional stress of a possible surgery I ended up not going to class). When we left the doctor's office we decided to go to lunch (more like dinner - gotta love long doctor's visits). My mom (in my car with me) was suppose to follow Gina, but went out first and didn't have a chance to let Gina pass us. While waiting for a red light my mom was trying to calm me down because I was still crying because of the bad news I had just received when we hear a loud screech and a bang.

The light had just changed to green, but the traffic hadn't started to move. Apparently the guy behind Gina only noticed the light and not the half a dozen cars in front of him. Gina has whiplash and should be okay, but will be sore for a while. My mom's car (that Gina and my mom share) has a crunched in bumper.

Needless to say we were all frazzled when we got to the restaurant.

The only good part of my day was the hottie who re-casted my arm. While Mr. Hottie was getting the supplies for my cast he asked what color I'd like. I told him purple. A few minutes later when he confirmed I wanted purple I responded with, "Yes, please." He was taken aback by my politeness and went on for a good five minutes telling my mom how nice it is to hear the word please and how the kids these days just aren't polite and will just bark orders. At this point I'm focusing on not crying because of the pain and the news of possible surgery I don't realize he thinks I'm a teenager. When I mention missing class he asked where I go to school. I tell him and he's surprised I'm at a university. He then asks how old I am and I say I'm turning 28 on Sunday (which I had to look to my mom for confirmation because I wasn't sure what day it was!). He then asks how old I think he is and I wanted to say something like, "probably in my age range," but was not only embarrassed, but not really feeling up to any guessing games. My mom pipes up and says, "I'd guess mid 30's." He says, "Nah, I'm 53." My mom says, "Well, since we're playing the age game guess mine." He guesses 55 and she says, "63" with a smile on her face as if she's won a game. He then admits he's 35.

While he finishes with my cast he tells me how this new cast prevents me from moving my wrist at all. He had to wrap past my elbow and then cut out parts for the "wings." I was not happy I not only have a cast back on, but it is a lot bigger. I am grateful I can move my elbow. That's one positive thing to all this.

Here is the new, larger, cast Mr. Hottie put on.

Because of the wings holding my elbow I can't rotate my lower arm. 

Occasionally I'll make a video for my sister who is out of state, but this one was taking forever to upload to send to her so I made her another video on the networking site. Here's the video incase you'd like to see what I can do with my new cast. You can ignore the other rambling if you'd like. I was just updating her on my hair since I shaved my head last Christmas in support of my mom's breast cancer (which she is now cancer free! Thank you God!)

I'm not sure why the sound is off from the video, but you can still see the restrictive movement.

With my old cast I had figured out how to do a lot of things by myself. With the new cast I have to relearn how to do some things. This next picture is an example of something I could do, but I'd have to figure out a new way because of the more restrictive cast (my thumb is more restrictive and it hurts to pinch my thumb to my pointer finger).

Here are my painted nails I did myself with a casted left arm (the camera is backward on my laptop). 

My nails are clear with two silver stripes going one way and three red glitter stripes going the other way.